Yesterday was not the cutest day in the history of my life. I misplaced my contacts and spent the day rocking some glasses circa 1998, a rather greasy ponytail and a shirt that I thrifted and belatedly discovered was not so much empire-waisted as it was maternity-waisted. I wanted to feel cuter. Like, badly.
13 ways to feel cuter + more confident
1. Make a list of all your great traits, physical and otherwise
When confronted with tight jeans and a questionable complexion, it’s easy to get hung up on the ways that your appearance is failing you.
But what about your great calves? And those adorable freckles? And your ability to quote the entirety of Legally Blonde ver batim? Not things to be over looked, friend! Make a list of the ways in which you rock and post it somewhere you’ll see it every day.
2. Have a one-person dance party
Sure, dancing (and all physical activity) boosts your endorphins blahblahblah. More importantly, it’s wicked fun and silly and will probably make you feel heaps better. I challenge to you rock out to
She-Wolf in your ruffled underwear and maintain any sort of grump.
3. Call someone you love
Your mom, your BFF, your unfailingly positive and funny cousin. Talking to someone that loves you feels good, right?
4. Have a bit of lady bath time
Maybe immersing yourself in bubble bath and scented oils probably won’t change the way you feel about your haircut, but it’ll sure make you smell good!
5. Try a different hair style
Hairstyles make a huuuuge impact on how you look. Now, I know that I look better with swoopy side bangs and that sexily messy hair that takes so long to sexily muss. Despite this, I spend most of my life with my bangs pinned back and my poker-straight hair mashed into a messy bun.
But on these rough days, taking the time to actually (gasp!) style my hair makes all the difference. Blowing your mind here, I know.
6. Or cover it up
If you can’t be bothered to fuss with your hair (or honestly can’t do much with it) embrace the hat! Or the headscarf/head band/fascinator. It’ll make you feel mysterious and new, I promise.
7. Get a makeup counter makeover
Why not let a professional apply your blue eyeliner for once? It’s a fun (and cheap) way to spend 30 minutes and you’ll hopefully come out of it looking like a new woman. Those Sephora people know what they’re about!
8. Change who you follow on social media
For many of us, crises of self-esteem are triggered by images of pert, curvy-but-somehow-still-thin women on Instagram. Cut that shit out. If someone’s (perfectly lovely!) IG feed is making you feel about about yourself, engage in a bit of self-care unfollowing.
Studies have shown a not-insignificant increase in happiness when women follow people online who are their size or bigger. Give it a try!
9. Reconsider those features you dislike
Now, I’m not one to advocate pinning your self esteem to your appearance, much less how your appearance compares to what we see in the media.
That said, it’s pretty likely that the bump in your nose that you hate so much or your wicked curly hair has graced the pages of Vogue at some point. I don’t have much patience for my blond eyelashes or eyebrows. Supermodel
Maggie Rizer has both.
10. Try a bit of structure
Sure, I’ll feel more cozy once I’m in my XXL U of M sweats, but I actually feel emotionally and psychologically when I add a bit of structure. A big belt cinched tight around my waist, a button-up shirt, or a pair of wedges make me feel a bit more human.
Devolving into a slob, comfy though it is, generally doesn’t make one feel more attractive, does it?
11. Play dress up
Remember the dress-up trunk you had as a kid and all the fun you had in those prom dresses? Why don’t we treat our closets like that? I don’t mean that you should do some of that ‘shop in your closet’ sensible-ness.
Try on the most ridiculous combinations you can find, top it off with some purple eye shadow, a messy top knot and then try to scare your cat. And devotedly hope that your neighbor doesn’t pop over to borrow a cup of sugar.
12. Slap on some color
Sometimes just altering your appearance is enough to feel better. I’m a big fan of ye old ‘red lipstick and big sunglasses’ trick, but you can probably accomplish the same thing with a big swipe of blush or some epic eyeshadow.
13. Reference some cute photos of yourself
I know looking at myself all well-lit and touched up, certainly makes me feel better. If you don’t have any fancy pro photos, surely you have a few snap shots on Facebook that do you justice?
Thank you so much for these tips. I really don't like going through my 'ugly' days, so its always nice to have w3ays to feel better.
Sometimes a 15 minute nap and quick face wash are just the things to re-prettify. Or, wine.
Thanks for the shout-out, beautiful! These are some fantastic tips for overturning ugly days. I find that giving compliments OUT tends to pull me out of an image-related funk, too.
I love this post! But, then again, what's new about that? I love everything you write!
Your professional photos are so gorgeous and fun. Where can a girl in the Twin Cities do something like that without breaking the bank?
Thanks a ton for these tips! Let me just say they were very original and sensible at the same time!!
Aah…they sound too much fun!
Once again you wrote a brilliant post. Some of these made me laugh, but there is no doubt in my mind that I'd do them in such a situation.
Whenever sad or depressed about a sudden lack of fashion I do solo dance, usually sporting some incredibly girly and rarely worn undergarments. Choice music would be Abracadabra by BEG and various unknown songs from the 80's.
Thanks for another great post, Sarah. Keep it up. ♥
didn't read it yet…. saved to favorites for the day I need it!
🙂
Kate! My friend Jill, who shot these photos, has very reasonable prices and is uber-talented. The easiest way to contact her is through her flickr page: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkdots777
Pedicure! Professional treatment feels great, but there's nothing like a slumber-party-esc do-it-yourself moment with wine and giggly friends. Makes me feel better every time.
Great post!
Whenever I get to those days, I tend to go and change my hair – either at the salon or at home. Also, I tend to buy a new piece of clothing then and well… that about makes me feel better… Granted, it's not the cheapest way but it only happens ever so often 😉
I love the link with not superthin models – they look so comfortable with themselves and so happy!
BOOKMARK
xxxxxx
i will definitely keep those tips in mind. those "i feel so fat and ugly" days are hard to battle but i think some of these can get me out of that slump!
leethroughthelens.blogspot.com
I prefer to just get in bed and wait for a better day to arrive…
Brilliant post, love these suggestions!
That link to the "plus-size" models was great. Insane that they are considered "plus-size," but encouraging nonetheless.
Great tips! So useful that I linked to them in my own how-to-feel-better post: http://www.espen.com/julie/archives/2009/11/bounceback.html#more
I love the One Person Dance Party. I do this ALL the time. Even in my house at night in my big front window without pulling down the blinds.
It's so much fun!
Similar to 11, I find I receive the most compliments when wearing a cute dress. And nothing boost your confidence more than random people telling you how cute you look. For me, this usually lands on laundry day, when I slap on a dress because I don’t have anything else clean to wear!