The Naked Redhead is laugh-out-loud funny on the regular. And that’s not a compliment that I throw around lightly! How lucky are we that she wrote this guest post?
Having been, shall we say, “around the block” when it comes to relationships, I have learned the words and phrases that can strengthen a relationship and those that can damage individuals beyond repair.
5 things you should say to your partner today:
1. “I love you.”
This is always nice to hear, even if it’s just once a day. Naturally, if you get all Edward and Bella you might turn from “partner” to “stalker”, but hey, “I love you” is just nice.
2. “I like your face.”
My nephew once said this to my mom (he was four, I think) and she’s never forgotten it. Tell your partner what you like about them on a regular basis. If you can’t think of something…uh, don’t be a jerk. Think of something, or move on.
3. “Go have fun with your friends!”
Every couple needs time away from each other. Don’t begrudge your partner this time away from you.
4. “You can always make me laugh/feel better.”
Acknowledge your partner’s efforts, even if this “effort” involves a naked dance and the invitation to give you a “Roman Helmet”. Also: if your partner can’t actually make you laugh or feel better – why are you with them?
5. “I think you’re swell/I believe in you/You can do it!”
Encourage your partner, even if you’re not sure they’ll be completely successful. We all screw up, and we all attempt to do things that maybe won’t necessarily work. Be supportive…unless your partner is like, “Hey, I’m gonna try an ‘open relationship’…you can participate if you’d like.” Then kick him or her in the no-no and find someone else.
5 things you shouldn’t say to your partner. (No, not ever.)
1. “I don’t love you anymore.”
No one ever wants to hear this phrase. Think of something better to say, like, “This isn’t going to work,” or, “Our relationship is over.” Seriously, there is not much worse than having the ole “L” word reversed on you.
2. “My mom/dad/brother/sister/friend/old lover does that so much better than you.”
This is just a real jerkface thing to say in a non-jesting manner. Obviously, some people do things better than others, but there is no sense in comparing your lover to your mom. (Besides the fact that it’s icky…)
3. “Shut up.”
My parents never allowed us to say this to each other as a family. I used to think it was dumb, but now that I’m older, I know that when this phrase is said in anger it means, “I think what you have to say is worthless,” which is almost as bad as “I don’t love you anymore.”
4. “I wish you were more like _________.”
Again, in the real world, your partner is not going to be everything you need all the time. This is what friends (and vibrators) are for. So get over his or her faults, and work on your own. Usually, your good example will inspire the other person to be better.
5. (Any sort of degrading name that your mother would smack you in the mouth for.)
For instance, it can be funny for a girl to call her friends “bitches” but don’t call your girlfriend a “bitch.” That’s a really mean thing to do, a-hole. I don’t recommend it.
What are some of the sweet things you and your partner say to each other? Are there any words or phrases that are ‘off limits’?
P.S. Saying sweet thing to you partner is a habit you can develop – this will help!