This is part of our occasional Dear Dude series in which my real-life friend, The Dude, answers your questions about the hairier sex. When he’s not on the internet, The Dude is playing bike polo (yes, that’s a thing), cooking, running with his dog and driving entirely too fast (my personal opinion.)
I’m seeing a guy in a not-very-serious-but-exclusive-way. His Facebook status is listed as ‘single’ which I’m not comfortable with. I’m not really in a place where I want to have a Relationship, but it bums be out that he’s telling the Internet he’s totally available. Input please?
Part of me wants you to out him in a Facebook post and start some drama so you could maybe get onto Failbook. But the rest of me thinks he deserves slack because you are “seeing a guy in a not-very-serious-but-exclusive-way” which could maybe be interpreted as single…? Single-ish?
How important is a Facebook status to you? How important is it to him? Maybe he just didn’t bother. Maybe he isn’t as avid a FaceBooker. Maybe he isn’t as excited about it as you are… There probably isn’t a setting for the “casually dating (your name).”
That said, maybe there isn’t an excuse, maybe he is keeping it on “single” to continue prowling. Either way, if he hasn’t done it yet say something to him, not me – or let it go and deal with it. He can’t read your mind no matter how hard you will him to. Have a talk with him, let him know that you feel strongly about it.
Maybe he wants to see other people and is too chicken to say something. Maybe he wants you to break up with him. Or again, maybe he just hasn’t bothered/noticed. A few months ago I realized I still had my status as “married” even though my divorce has been final for over a year. Doh!
Side note from Sarah: I think being actively listed as single then changing your relationship status from ‘single’ to not listed or ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship with ________’ are two very different things. I feel like posting your relationship on Facebook has become tantamount to meeting the parents or announcing your engagement! I turned off my relationship status two years ago and I don’t plan to turn it back on until I move in with someone.
Do you guys get hung up on Facebook relationship statuses?
photo by Johan Larsson // cc