I make an active effort to surround myself with people who fill me up and inspire me. Because I spend nearly seven days a week in the company of people I’d describe as “awesome,” I’ve had a few realizations about what that word means and how (if at all) being a great, cool human affects the rest of your life.
How awesome someone is and how awesome they think they are have very little to do with each other
My friends are smart, funny, kind, accomplished, interesting, good looking. They do fun, crazy things with their spare time, they have jobs they love and lives that excite them. And yet! Some of these people wouldn’t describe themselves using such glowing terms. They’d probably drop in a few words like “neurotic, chubby, broke, adrift.”
To which I usually cry “We don’t talk like that in this house! I’m only friends with great people and I’m friends with you!”
I’ve also encountered people (as we all do) who I wouldn’t necessarily describe as awesome. While said people probably have good qualities, I haven’t seen ’em. But it doesn’t matter! They’re pretty sure they’re awesome even as they dodge calls from Grandma and steal co-workers’ lunches from the fridge.
Even on-top-of-it, awesome people have their own insecurities and struggles. And people who don’t really meet your criteria of awesome? Well, maybe they’ve got their own criteria.
How awesome someone is and their relationship status have very little to do with each other
As noted above, I know a lot of great people. And some of these people are single. Some of them are joyfully single, some would like very much to find their proverbial lobster. Some of these fantastic people are dating people that are, perhaps, less awesome but the relationship is happy and fulfilling for both parties. (sidenote: does anyone ever really think anyone is good enough for their friends? because I rarely do!) Sometimes fantastic people date and cancel out each other and everything gets yell-y and uncomfortable.
And we all know at least one needy, immature, bad-decision making person who somehow snags a great partner. Forpetesake, Rush Limbaugh’s been married four times!
If you’re awesome and unhappily single, don’t worry. It’s not you. You’ll find somebody. If you’re awesome and in an unhappy relationship, decide if you want to work it out or leave; your amazing-ness won’t necessarily protect you from the lumps and bumps of life. If you’re awesome and you have a great partner, go high five them.
How awesome someone is and whether they’d be a good person to work for/with have very little to do with each other
The personality traits that make someone fun to be around are not always the traits that make someone a good employer/employee/co-worker. I love surrounding myself with people who are funny, adventurous, curious, and a just a little bit risk take-y. These are not the qualities I look for in an intern. I want someone who is smart, hard working, follows directions well, takes initiative, and is crazy reliable. Of course, those are nice traits in a friend as well, but I’m less concerned if my friends can figure out how to use Hootsuite.
When you’re thinking about working with a friend, realize that their ability to bring life to any party or talk you through a breakup might not always translate to pulling their weight on group projects or getting you revisions in a timely manner. And if that friendship is important to you, maybe you just shouldn’t work together.
Would you describe yourself as awesome? How does that affect (or not affect) other aspects of your life?
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