If you are a non-American Yes and Yes reader, I will assume that you don’t know eating Thanksgiving dinner is equal parts Olympic-level sport and nearly religious experience.
We take this business seriously.
White or dark meat? Fresh, fancy cranberry sauce or the canned kind that everybody likes better? Cream cheese in the mashed potatoes? Any kind of pie other than pumpkin?
And because we spend the better part of a day eat + sitting + watching football, it’s important to plan the correct outfit.
In addition to consuming 3,000+ calories, you also need to
- look nice for your extended family
- deal with someone else’s concept of climate control
- potentially mask stains and spills
- not feel like a sausage straining to escape its casing.
The Best Outfit For Thanksgiving Dinner.
Let’s dissect this, shall we?
Black peplum dress
It’s black so you can wear it all the time, for any occasion. It’s knit, so it’s comfortable. It’s got a peplum to disguise your ‘food baby’ post face-stuffing. It’s short sleeved so if your uncle insists on heating his house to near-boiling, you’re fine. Also: it’s $27!
Grey over-the-knee socks
Pantyhose, tights, and leggings all mush your stomach in. Forget that! Over-the-knee socks keep you warm, disguise your questionable attempt at shaving and let you eat another helping of mashed potatoes. PRIORITIES. $10!
Black ankle boots
Unlike tall boots, these won’t cling to your calves and get sweaty. Also: these are only $37!
This can be strategically arranged to hide the spill that happened when you got too excited about the apple caramel pie. It’ll also keep your fratty cousin from making some sort of comment about how you’re ‘goth’ and you ‘hate color.’
And if your uncle keeps the house at 62 degrees? This will help.
What are you wearing to Thanksgiving dinner? I’m making my grandma’s version of mashed potatoes and wearing a knit peplum dress I bought at Target two years ago!