Let’s begin by acknowledging that I love a good gift guide as much as a the next blogger. But my gift-giving philosophy runs more towards non-things. You know, tarot card readings and weird exotic plants.
And what do I want you to give me? A really nice colander. Or some lush merino socks.
But a lot of people would prefer to give you a gold stapler when you specifically asked for merino socks and a good colander.
If you’re nodding along, you get it. Sometimes the best way to get the gift you want is to buy it for your damn self.
To that end, I’m sharing some of the truly day-improving, can’t-imagine-my-life-without-it purchases I’ve made in the last few years. And I asked my friends to share their favorites too so this doesn’t just devolve into a roundup of high-quality cat toys and really good underwear.
Imagine this is Oprah’s ‘Favorite Things’ – except it’s for normal people and nothing costs more than $50.
23 gifts to buy yourself
Things I personally love
Super cute apron
– $10
I wear my apron constantly. Like, literally once a day. Anytime I’m doing something more complex than chopping an apple I’m wearing an apron. It makes me feel so damn adult. People who have their ish together wear aprons.
(I’m not sure that I have my ish together but I like to appear as though I do. I have a habit of wiping my hands on my pants so this helps with that.)
Heavy-duty lemon squeezer
– $7
Yes, I’m one of those people who drinks hot lemon water every morning because the internet told me to. To be totally honest, I’m not sure it’s doing anything but it certainly doesn’t hurt and it’s a habit now, so here we are.
These two-handled lemon juicers are exponentially better than those grindy, twisty numbers. If you drink hot lemon water (or a lot of homemade margaritas) this will change your life.
Car air vent mount for your phone
– $8
Whenever people turn on their gps and then put their phone in the cup holder I internally lose my mind. “But you can’t even see the map! And you keep taking your eyes off the road! AND NOW WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE.”
This costs $8 and it keeps your annoying passenger (re: me) calm. Also: it’s safer than putting your phone in the cup holder.
Target laser-cut underwear – $5.00
These underwear are so good I’ve been slowly replacing all my other underwear with them. Like, every single pair. Now when I put on lace underwear I scream “What was I thinkiiiiiinnnnng?!!!” and throw them across the room.
Dr. Scholl’s Massaging Gel Insoles
– $18
My heart has not yet grown out of my affection for $15 novelty ballet flats, my legs and back have. These inserts allow you to have your ‘cheap cute shoes’ cake and eat it, too.
Retractable Clothesline
– $35
Now that we have a yard, I’m bound and determined to milk it for everything it’s worth: including clothes that smell like sunshine and a lower utility bill. This clothes line is awesome because I’m too vain to mount a permanent one and you can easily take it down and bring it inside for the winter!
Contigo Stainless Steel Travel Mug
– $16
CALL OFF THE SEARCH FOR THE PERFECT TRAVEL MUG THIS IS IT. You can twist the cover on and throw it in your bag and it won’t leak. Not even a little. You’ll never buy another one!
Vegetable spiralizer 
– $35
Not only do I drink hot lemon water, I spiralize vegetables. Insufferable, right? I’ve tried various spiralizers and this is my favorite by far. I use it multiple times a week, especially during zucchini season!
Granite Gear reusable shopping bag – $14
Yes, this brand specifically. They’re not as cute or cheap at those Baggu bags everyone has but I promise, these are noticeably better. I’ve owned both! Cashiers regularly ooh and ahh over how nice this bag is!
The whole bag crinkles down to the size of an orange and you can tuck it into a tiny stuff sack that’s sewn to the bag itself. So you won’t lose it! And it has a little clip so you can attach it to your bike or keys!
‘Real’ bras that have been professionally fitted – $50ish
A good bra is an investment in your self-esteem. Seriously. Oprah’s right, we’re all wearing the wrong size and it makes our clothes fit weird. FWIW, the only bras I wear at the Natori Bliss Perfection bras. They’re amaaaaazing!
Things my friends won’t stop talking about
There’s a limit to how many things one person can own, right? When I asked my friends about the under $50, life-changing purchases they’ve made, these are things that came up again and again.
Oribe Dry Texturing Hair Spray
– $42
My friend Cleo swears up and down by this hair spray – and look at her hair! Also, 418 4.5 star reviews might be on to something!
Speck phone cases
– $34
I didn’t put a case on my phone; I dropped it and now there’s scotch tape holding the screen together. So. My friend Paddy loooves his Speck case. They come highly reviewed and in all sorts of gorgeous colors!
Pre-seasoned cast-iron skillet
– $25
My husband is obsessed with his collection of cast iron and I like being able to switch them between stove top and oven. They last forever and they make for great Instagram photos 😉
Amazon fire tv stick
– $40
Real talk: I have no idea how Amazon fire sticks work, but everyone I know has one, loves it, and won’t stop talking about it. So do with that information what you will.
Foam roller for sore, achy muscles
– $20
What’s that? You’re sick of your partner’s half-hearted, 30-second “massages” when you announce that you’re sore? This is the answer to all your problems. It feels amazing, tucks under your bed, and it’ll probably improve your relationship because your person won’t be annoyed by all your massage requests.
Portable phone charger
– $10
Never be stuck with a dead phone ever again! DONE.
Epicurean cutting board
– $24
You know how most wooden cutting boards get kind of fuzzy and onion-y over time? And you can’t put them in the dishwasher? Not this guy!
Diva cup 
– $28
Every woman I know who uses this product sings its praises to high heaven. I imagine it’d be great for traveling when you don’t want to wander around foreign pharmacies, miming “menstruation.”
Bird feeder
– $24
Yes, really. Having birds around is oddly mesmerizing and relaxing and you can mount this feeder right on your window! Even if you live in the city in an apartment building – no trees necessary!
Liz Lange maternity tank tops (even if you’re not pregnant) – $13
Isn’t it annoying when you bend over and your tank top rides up, showing everybody your choice in underwear and lower back tattoos? Yes. Yes it is. My friends swear by these loooong, more substantial-than-usual tank tops.
Aeropress coffee and espresso maker
– $30
Take it on the road, take it camping, store it somewhere other than your counter top. My coffee snob friends can’t stop talking about these!
Food processor
– $32
Without exaggeration, I use my food processor four or five times a week. Once you figure out those shredding and slicing inserts a whooooole new culinary world of homemade chips opens up to you! Don’t believe me? Here are 12 magical ways to use your food processor!
Bonus
Amazon Prime (One Year Membership)
– $99
This is technically over our $50 limit but let’s re-frame this as a $8.25 monthly gift to ourselves. If you don’t have Amazon Prime, it will change the way you shop. It will save you a jillion dollars on shipping and jillions of hours wandering the aisles of Target.
If you live with roommates, you can share one membership! You can use it for photo storage! You can stream music, check out ebooks, and have groceries delivered for a flat fee!
But I want to hear from you! What not sexy, but totally life changing purchases will you be making this year?
P.S. 25 DIY gifts that people will really, truly love
My dad got me these tiny reading lights that are perfect for reading after your partner goes to bed. Our bedside lamps are way too bright, so we clip the reading light on to the middle of the headboard (not at all sexy) for when one of us falls asleep and the other wants to keep reading 🙂 The other one we keep in the living room – for when we’re too lazy to get up to turn the light on.
Love it! I need one of those!
Hands down, the best gift guide I’ve read this year. I added about 10 things to my wish list. 🙂
Seriously. Truly life-changing purchases!
I totally cackled at “gold staplers and whisky stones”… so true 🙂 Totally getting that tank!
As a side note, I’ve tried those whiskey stones AND THEY DO NOT WORK.
Whiskey stones do not work for their intended purpose (keeping whisky cold), but they do maintain/increase the bubbles in bubbly drinks. I use them when I want extra fizz in my beer or when I notice that the glass I am drinking from is ruining the carbonation, which can happen when the glass has been in contact with milk or just been washed with the wrong kind of soap.
I am SO getting my husband that air vent cell phone mount as a stocking stuffer this year! He travels for work a lot and is always in different rental cars, and consequently, has to do a lot of navigating. This will be so easy to throw in his work bag. Thanks for the tip.
He’ll love it! It makes GPS-ing soooo much easier!
Ditto the contigo & apron comments. I also have a friend that swears by all things Hydro Flask brand, says their food containers are great for work lunches!
Ooooh! Dually noted! I’m so sick of all our mismatched gladware!
Oribe Dry Texturing Hair Spray is LIFE-CHANGING FOR REAL.
Miss Jessie’s Pillow Soft Curls, literally the only product that has noticeably beaten my hair into submission AND it smells heavenly, like fabric softener!
Oooh! I’ve never even heard of that! Off to Google it!
I bought myself a vacuum in the Cyber Monday sales yesterday. We’ve needed a new one for at least two years, since we were given our vacuum as a hand-me-down 4 years ago, and it’s a $40 walmart special from at least 8 years ago, and really all it does is rearrange the dirt. I feel like such an adult and am going to vacuum all the things when it comes tomorrow. Not at all glamorous, but I can’t wait for the life improving dust control.
Also, my Dad adores the Lee Vining catalogs and always gives us surprisingly useful oddities from them. We’ve gotten real vintage-style tin tinsel for the Christmas tree (better than any modern thing!) , and super strong refrigerator magnets (as in held up the entire refrigerator owners manual strong).
Oooh! What kind of vacuum? I’m pretty much married to my Roomba.
A good vacuum cleaner is THE BEST! We moved to a carpeted house this year, and with two pets we decided to splurge on a (clearance) Dyson.
Love that old school tinsel! One year I found a ton of it at a thrift store, and wrapped every Christmas present with a TON of the tinsel stuffed inside. Little nephews loved it! Brother and sister in law, not so much!
Another rad thing about the Epicurian Cutting Board- they are made in Minnesota. By Loll, a totally rad company. And they are made of recycled material. I purchased one for a wedding gift and ended up buying myself one as well.
Whoa! I didn’t know that! Win/win/win!
I got an Epicurian cutting board shaped like Minnesota ’cause I live in MN!
I plan to buy myself some long johns, wool socks, and maybe a dehydrator. 🙂
Yes! I have all those things and they are totally life-improving!
Some great ideas here! I’m going to get that air vent phone mount for my beau!
Also, all hail the Diva Cup! Four years with that thing and it’s been so great.
I loved my Diva Cup too, until its suction pulled my IUD out of place. I didn’t feel/notice it and I got pregnant (surprise! Thankfully it all worked out).
If you’re using an IUD as contraception, I would not recommend a Diva Cup or any of its sisters.
If you love Diva cups (and don’t have an IUD… yikes), I’m also pimping Thinx underwear. They have a built-in lining so you don’t have to use a backup pad or pantyliner and they’re super comfortable. And they’re easy to clean and not at all gross as I was kind of worried about when I bought my trial pair. With the Diva/Thinx combo I can almost forget it’s that time of the month if it weren’t for those damn cramps.
YES! Thinx have totally changed my life! I cannot recommend them enough to my friends and family.
Ooooh! I’ve been on the fence about them – you may have just pushed me over!
I loved the concept of the Diva Cup, but not the fit. Turns out there are other brands! I’m a huge fan of the menstrual cups made by Skoon.
Ooooh! Good to know!
Sarah, this list is awesome!!
I agree with the apron (Sadly, I also have a bad habit of wiping my hands on my hips. WHY CAN’T I ADULT?! I am 33 for crying out loud.), those Target panties (I only wear them and i only buy them in black. haha), the Oribe hair product that is divine!!, The Ninja, and the Diva Cup (I’m a new member of the menstrual cup club and I love it!)
I love my Toddy T2 Cold Brew system because it has reduced my coffee expense drastically- highly recommend.
I’m going to go order that car mount and drop some serious hints about the bird feeder.
Yessss! It makes my heart glad to know that other people enjoy aprons as much as I do! <3
Omg! I was sitting here working on my own Oprah’s Style Favorite Things … including Target underwear…and clicked over to read yours and I am just about crying laughing at how great it is and how similar we are. You’re the best, thanks for keeping it real!! (My list is still in edits but so far it also includes uniball pens, Target scented candles, Tend Skin for bikini bumps and Essie nailpolish drying drops…you know, super glam stuff!) xoxo
THOSE TARGET UNDERWEAR ARE AMAZING.
I am always looking for underwear that is comfy and stays in place. The lazer cuts look great but they look like half of my butt cheeks would be uncovered.
Yes! I broke down and bought and Aeropress myself because no one would ever get it for me! I love that thing!
If someone bought me gel insoles for my shoes I would seriously be their best friend for LIFE. Plus I’d know they really “get” me because I have the world’s flattest feet and only a BFF would know that type of thing right? Totally going to buy myself some insoles on payday. Merry Xmas to my damn self.
YES.
http://www.amazon.com/Scalp-Massager-Body-Back-Company/dp/B001IHXFQK <– this scalp/head massager which you can easily get for a couple of bucks (seriously I got it for 1$). It's the best when I wanna simply relax and give myself a low cost pampering! All you need is some warm oil and this!
By the way totally agree on the cast iron skillet and I really need to get the apron for the same reasons as yours!
Ooooh! I loooove a good scalp massage!
Realised I should put this as a comment of its own:
I loved my Diva Cup too, until its suction pulled my IUD out of place. I didn’t feel/notice it and I got pregnant (surprise! Thankfully it all worked out). A friend of mine claims her doctor told her not to use a Diva Cup when using an IUD, but my doctors did not caution me on this.
I know anecdata is not data, but if you’re using an IUD as contraception, I would not recommend a Diva Cup or any of its sisters.
Whoooooa! Good to know!
Thank you for posting a real people list. <3
Excellent ideas! I wear an apron when I cook with my mom (because I so rarely cook at my house) but maybe I should nick one off her to take home with me 🙂
Speaking of underpants, which is definitely a thing I like to do, I love love love the Hanes X-Temp line. Mostly cotton, with some weird fancy polyester that makes them temperature- and moisture-regulating, which is a JOY. I prefer the low-rise brief cut, because my butt is HUGE (no body-shaming here, The Ass That Ate New Jersey, as a friend once said, is pretty great in its largeitude) and hipsters and bikinis never seem to have quite enough room for it without pulling down too far in the front. I’m doing the same thing with them as you are with your laser underpants (doesn’t that sound awesome, LASER UNDERPANTS? either a band name or just an awesome futuristic product, if my underpants could shoot lasers that would be rad) – gradually transitioning all my underpants to this kind as old ones deteriorate. (Or if/when they’re on special sale – sometimes they’re on Cartwheel, and sometimes, they’re packed 4 to a package rather than 3 and that is a day of underpants celebration!)
Also, I like to say underpants.
[Underpants.]
Ooooh! I’ll have to take a look at those!
Bun, You CRACK me up!
Underpants!
Thank you!
hmmm CRACK *sees what you did there* excellent punnage!
[UNDERPANTS!]
I just snort-laughed at “miming menstruation.” Day made.
LOVE this! Thank you so much. My family always thinks I’m crazy for actually wanting stuff that I’ll — USE! When I moved into an apartment during college, I asked for a vacuum cleaner. Hello! They are too expensive for a college student. I still think about how great that vacuum cleaner was.
I have that apron- it’s great! I also enjoyed checking out the other gifts. Like many readers, I am intrigued by the Target underwear. Will have to investigate. 🙂
THEY ARE SO GOOD.
I keep one of these with my portable phone charger https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0121G8BO2/. Its a short cable so doesn’t get tangled in my purse, and I don’t have to keep track of a bunch of cables when traveling because it can charge whatever device is with me, whether it’s a phone, Kindle, tablet or iPod
Haus salon in the North Loop had a black Friday special for 20% off of Oribe products. Might still be available!
Ooooh! Good to know!
I’m completely late to this blog post but I have to chime in on the Coffee Press! It’s seriously amazing! I found one as my husband and I used to travel the US in a semi, that was our job!! Anyway, after drinking truck stop coffee (which I hated!) I found this bad boy and it was a LIFE SAVER! Seriously the BEST money spent on life conveniences! I even use it at home, now!
Thank you for the chuckle and LROL moments in reading this post. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Love the way you blog. And I needed a good chuckle after watching a heavy, but really good drama movie tonight…Hidden Figures.