Web Time Wasters

Did you know that every morning on Instagram Stories, I share a little reminder/intention/inspirational-quote-type thing? Based on the DMs I get, they seem to make people really happy!

So if you’d like a bit of happy in your day for $0, you can follow along here.

How was your week, friends? Thursday – Sunday I was in South Dakota with my whooooole extended family, celebrating the life of my late grandmother. It was so, so lovely to see everybody.

Links for you:

My mini-roadtrip this week reminded me: OMG if you’re in the car for more than three hours, this will make all the difference in how you feel upon arrival.

Related: Everything you need to know to plan a road trip 

Sometimes, when I’m hard on myself for not doing ‘more’ as stepmom, I remember that even as a pretty B+ stepmom I do more (and I’m held to a much higher standard) than many full time, bio dads: What ‘Good’ Dads Get Away With.

I talked about the link between money, happiness, habits, and education on the What I’m Unlearning podcast! Listen here.

And I talked with Andrea about the totally unsexy but inestimable power of still going when everybody else gives us.

Perfect for picnic weather! 9 best packable sandwiches.

In case you needed another reason to buy Chobani yogurt!

DISCUSS: After men in Spain got paternity leave, they wanted fewer kids
Farré and González think that spending more time with their children—or the prospect of having to do so—may have made men more acutely aware of the effort and costs associated with childrearing, and, as the researchers put it, “shifted their preferences from child quantity to quality.”

‘I see any dinosaur, I buy it’: at home with the embattled owner of the Flintstone house

Like Psychology Today’s Find-A-Therapist tool – but for shamen, coaches, and other healers.

I loved this: Rob Walker’s Exercises for Noticing New Things
Eat Somewhere Dubious. Have one meal at a restaurant that you didn’t find on Yelp or through any sort of recommendation and that doesn’t even look trendy or hip. First you’ll have fun keeping an eye out for it: “Is THAT our dubious restaurant?” Second, even if you have a mediocre meal, you’ll have an unpredictable experience! And this, by the way, is how the best food writers make discoveries and find the places that later get hot on Yelp. So maybe you’ll get lucky.

This kids’ room is wowsers

I hope you had a lovely week!



Controversial opinion alert:
From the article about unfair division of labour,
1. There’s an assumption that the women’s collective standard of housework/childcare is objectively “correct” and that if the man doesn’t share those standards, he is wrong
2. Maybe we can all learn something from these apparently super-chill men.

““I do laundry when I need it. When it comes to the kids’ laundry, I could be more proactive, but instead I operate on my time scale. So my wife does most of their laundry. Let me do it my way and I’m happy to do it, but if you’re going to tell me how to do it, go ahead and do it yourself.” — this seems totally reasonable. Why does the wife’s desire to have laundry done promptly trump the husband’s desire to do…whatever else he’s prioritising over laundry? Imagine if your husband expected you to do some chore you didn’t care about, and also told you that you didn’t do it right!!

“I just don’t think these things are worth attending to. A certain percentage of parental involvement that my wife does, I would see as valuable but unnecessary. A lot of disparity in our participation is that.” — also totally reasonable. Why expend energy on tasks you see as unnecessary? Why encourage your partner by participating? Maybe the husband can think of more valuable ways to use time as a family.

“A father in Portland, Ore., confirmed that his wife takes on more but said: “It has to do with her personality. She always has to stay busy. No matter what day of the week it is, she has a need to be engaged, to be doing something.”” — Also seems fine for people to act differently based on personality without keeping score. I’m way more productive than my husband for personality reasons. He kicks my ass when it comes to mindfulness, contentment, resting and not caring what people think. A lot of the time this looks like me doing chores while he relaxes, and honestly I wish I could be more chilled like him.

I’m just tired of the narrative that tells us men are objectively less trustworthy than women when it comes to parenting and housework, because they hold to different standards and concern themselves with other priorities. (And women are allowed to set the standard.) I’m tired of the story that says men need to be doing more because women want more done. Maybe we could all be doing less.


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