Category: happiness

Stop Crowding Out Your Happiness

Looking for happiness tips? You can make your life feel happier by not crowding the happiness you already have! Click through for 5 ways to amplify the happiness you're already experiencing

Let’s imagine a super luxurious spa day. Picture it: cucumber water. Fluffy robes. Enya.

Now, imagine exiting the spa and driving directly to a tax appointment, to be followed by dinner with your passive aggressive cousin.

But CLEARLY you wouldn’t do that, right? No sane human would ‘undo’ six hours of happiness and self-care like that, would they?

My dudes, we all do this ish all the time. We check email while we’re on vacation. We make mental to-do lists while friends tell hilarious stories. We start doing the dishes in the middle of the party we looked forward to hosting <- real thing I do because I’m Super Fun.

This is so, so self-defeating and joy-sabotaging. In the pie chart of our lives, joy is a pretty small slice.

Much of our lives consist of boring, responsible, logistical things. The shining moments of joy – a great conversation, a long-awaited holiday, amazing food – are the minority. And yet! So many of us crowd those few happy moments with stuffed schedules and mental to-do lists.

Give the happy-making things in your life some breathing room. Click To Tweet

In fact, studies show that a significant amount of happiness comes from anticipating something we enjoy and a significant amount comes from recalling it. We’re literally sucking joy out of our lives by cramming our schedules and minds so full.

We deserve better than that. Our lives and minds and relationships deserve better than that. And it’s not hard to do better!

5 ways to stop crowding out your happiness

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How to spend money on yourself + your happiness

This is not a post filled with budgeting tips or advice on how to save money. This is a post filled with advice on the weirdly hard topic of spending money on ourselves. If you're a mom, this might be something you struggle with! Read on for tips on how to stop. #FIRE #budgetingtips #moneytips #personalfinance

 

I’m standing in the aisle at Target, staring at a plump, pink tube of $20 ‘cheek gel.’

My cart is already filled with sensible, not-really-for-me-purchases. Toilet bowl cleaner, frozen peas, ibuprofen.

Can I afford this blush? I can.
Is my current tube of ‘cheek gel’ almost used up? It is.
Do I feel cuter and more on top of it when I’m wearing makeup? I do.
Am I pretty sure this particular blush would work best with my skin tone and type? Yup.

And yet.

I sigh and shuffle my way to the Wet & Wild and buy the $4 blush instead.

Maybe you’ve never done this. Maybe you’ve never spend $150 on sensible purchases and gifts for other people and then denied yourself something you want and can afford. Maybe you’ve never bought the ‘close enough’ jacket because it was cheaper (even though you could afford the jacket you truly loved).

If you’ve never done that – congrats! You can stop reading now. Here is a post with photos of animals in buckets.

If this behavior sounds familiar: I see you and I get you.

One of the things I hear from many of my ‘Put Your Money Where Your Happy Is’ students is “I just can’t seem to spend money on myself or on anything fun.” They don’t have trouble living on a budget and they top out their 401 k every year. Their savings accounts are flush and healthy but their closets, homes, and calendars are, uh, less so.

Why do we do this? Why do we deny ourselves things we can afford and we know would make us happy?

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Why You Need To Diversify Your Happiness + How To Do It

If you're looking for happiness tips that go beyond gratitude journalling, this will help! You can add more happiness to your life, when there are more sources of happiness. Click through to cheer up and get happ(ier). #happiness #happinesstips #selfdevelopment #selfhelp

When it comes to happiness, I’m afraid I share a few traits with lab rats.

Yes, I too have nearly invisible eyelashes. I too have nearly hairless extremities. But what I’m talking about here is my personal propensity to find the button that brings me what I want. And then I push it over and over till I’m a quivering pile of mush.

See, many years ago, I discovered two things that always brought me happiness:
1. improving the aesthetics of my living space
2. travel

So anytime I felt stuck or lost or blue, the solution was easy: fuss with my living room or take myself on a trip. Daytrip to a new city = 1 week of improved mood! Rearranged office and one new throw pillow = I am a new human who loves everything and everyone!

And while it’s great to know myself and know what makes me happy, It's reductive and short-sighted to winnow or narrow your sources of joy. Click To Tweet
What happens when my house is ‘done’ and every corner has been perfected? What happens if I develop a health issue that prevents me from flying? Or something happens that requires me to stay close to home?

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How To Define Success For Yourself (no, but REALLY)

How do you define success for yourself? How do you distance yourself from family and social expectations of what you 'should' be doing? Click through for 5 questions that will help you define success on your own terms.

We’ve all seen those hand-lettered quotes floating around Pinterest, haven’t we?

“Write your own definition of success!” “Success is: [photo collage of six pack abs, checked off lists, and lattes]” or that illustration of the imagined path to success versus the reality.

If you’re anything like me – you nod at your computer screen. You think “Yes! I should write my own definition of success!”

Then we forget about it.  We go back to subconsciously believing the version of success marketed by every magazine, tv show, and movie.  And based on those standards we’re doing life wrong.

It took me yearrrrs to realize that I – like everyone else, ever – had quietly absorbed all these ideas about success.

I’d watched enough sitcoms to know that success looks like stainless steel kitchen appliances and European cars. I’d read enough women’s magazines to know success looks like a high, tight butt and a high-earning husband. I’d been an American long enough to know that success looks like a six-figure salary, 2.5 children, and good teeth.

I’d never opted into these beliefs. They seeped into me by osmosis.

But somehow, one day, a light switch flipped on in my brain. I realized that if I actually wrote my own definition of success, it’d probably be a lot easier to achieve and a lot more fulfilling once I got there.

At the risk of rhyming/making you roll your eyes: If you can’t name it, you can’t claim it. Click To Tweet

Want to know what my version of success looks like?

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Why we resist things we know will make us happy + What to do about it

Do you resist happiness or put off doing things you KNOW will make you happy? So many of us do this! Click through to find out why + how to stop!

30 minutes across town happiness is waiting for me.

In this case, it takes the form of a dance class filled with The Perfect Playlist,  women I like, and a teacher I adore. I HAVE ALREADY PAID FOR IT and every class I miss is a $20 bill I’m starting on fire and waving in the air.

And yet! Even though I know this class will make me happy, even though I’ve already paid for it, instead of going I’m … not. I’m saying “Hey, Happiness! I see you over there, waving frantically. I see you and Imma opt to sit here in my dirty yoga pants and watch Parks And Rec reruns instead of hanging out with you.”

Have you ever done this? If you’re a human who is alive, I’m pretty sure you have.

If you haven’t, will you teach me your ways?

There are all sorts of reasons we resist doing things that make us happy. Just like anything, when we notice what we’re doing and start to understand why, we’re a million times more likely to change our habits.

4 reasons we resist happiness + what we can do about it

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17 Ways To Feel Happier + Calmer When You Only Have 10 Minutes

There are lots of ways to feel happier right now - even if you're busy or broke or kind of overwhelmed. Don't 'save' happiness for later! Read on for happiness tips, ideas for self-care, and ways to feel calmer, even when you're busy. #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #motivation #productivity #happinessI have a weird, type-A tendency to put off doing things I know make me happy. I know I’ll feel sooooo much better if I get out of the house but putting on real clothes and walking to the coffee shop IS SO MUCH WORK.

Sure, I could read a chapter of my favorite book or I could do another load of laundry! Yes, I know exploring new cities makes me happy but I have tons of work to do, it’s rush hour, and wouldn’t my time be ‘better spent’ optimizing old blog posts?

Don't 'save' happiness for when things are easier and calmer (because they might never be) Click To Tweet

I’m calling shenanigans on myself and on you, fellow ‘I’m too busy to experience calm and happiness’ types. To help us get past this B.S., I’ve assembled this list.

Ways to feel happier + calmer when you only have 10 minutes

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