Spend your money, time, & energy on purpose.

Living your life on purpose starts with knowing what REALLY makes you happy. Get started by downloading my FREE audiobook + workbook below!

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How To Figure Out What Makes You Happy

Oh hey there,

I’m Sarah Von Bargen.

Want to look at your calendar and your bank statement and think “Yup, I made awesome choices”? I’ll show you how to spend your time, money, and energy on purpose.

Is that self-care or self-sabotage + How to figure out

Is your self-care actually self-sabotage? Are you using self-care as an excuse to avoid doing hard things or as a reason to do things you know aren't healthy? #self-care #self-love #habits #goalsetting

It’s been a rough few days – overcast weather, doctors appointments, tough conversations – so I decide it’s time to devote a day self-care. I narrow my eyes, take a deep breath, and leannnnn into it. Next stop: Selfcareville, Population: me.

Showers? WHO NEEDS ‘EM.
Carbs? Let’s eat all of them. Preferably topped with melted cheese.
Netflix is on, my sweatpants are on, and the oven is on because I’m making my second pan of pizza rolls.

Also: I don’t need to clean up the kitchen BECAUSE SELF-CARE.

Now, if you’re keeping score, reader, exactly none of these behaviors make me feel better. None of them make up for the overcast weather or the challenges of the last few days. Honestly, I’m using the pizza rolls and Netflix to numb out and avoid doing tough, life-improving things I need to do.

Which leads me to this Potentially Unpopular Opinion: The term 'self-care' has given us a sneaky, clever umbrella term to huddle under while we engage in some of our least-healthy tendencies. Share on X

Watching a three hours of Parks And Rec after an exhausting work day? Self-care!

Tuning out of our bickering children so we can watch Instagram Stories for 20 minutes? Self-care!

Skipping the gym so we can lay in bed for an extra hour? Self-care!

And sometimes these are the things we really need to do take care of ourselves and recharge our batteries. Sometimes the only thing that’s going to cure what ails me is a comfy pair of sweats and some processed carbs.

But if I’m not careful, I can convince myself that not-particularly-healthy, not-particularly-beneficial behavior qualifies as “self-care.”

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Welcome to Yes & Yes!

Want to spend your time, money, and energy on purpose? I'll show you how.

Mornings In Malaysia

Mornings In Malaysia

Name: Stephanie Sharon Koh Hometown: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Age: 32 Occupation: Beauty Editor My alarm is set for: 7:30 am every morning but I officially get up at 8 am as I only need to get to work by 9 am. My Malaysian breakfast A variety of things actually so it's never a routine! (Note: Malaysians in general are all about food so it's pretty normal for us to eat different things for...

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Hardwood Grows Slowly (A heavy-handed metaphor about growth + change)

Hardwood Grows Slowly (A heavy-handed metaphor about growth + change)

Now you know how awkward I was as a child. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, INTERNET.  Rather bizarrely, I spent a large portion of my childhood thinking about wood.    I grew up in rural Minnesota, eight miles outside a town of 2,000 people. We ate fish my dad caught, vegetables my mom grew, and heated the house with wood my dad cut down, chopped, and piled (meticulously and perfectly) in the...

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Six years ago, while sitting on a bed in Malaysia, I inadvertently created one of my most popular post series. I'd been traveling for six months and was working eight hours a day for one of Malaysia's leading women's magazines.  Between all that writing and my very busy schedule of drinking Pimm's by the pool, I didn't have much time or creative energy to devote to high-quality posts. I was...

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True Story: I Moved Halfway Around The World & Met The Man I Want To Marry

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This is one of many True Story interviews in which we talk to people who have experienced interesting, challenging, amazing things. This is the story of Amanda, her life abroad, and her Chinese boyfriend. Tell us a bit about yourself! My name’s Amanda and I’m 24 years old. I’m from a small town in New Brunswick, Canada and I lived in NB my whole life, until just over a year ago, when I moved to...

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Someone Else’s Pain + Struggle Do Not Negate Yours

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A few years ago I went through an absolutely heart-shredding breakup. I cried in many, many coffee shops, moved into a tiny apartment, and leaned on my friends a lot. They helped me move all the furniture I bought from Craigslist, listened to my late-night bawling, and baked beer/cheese/bacon cupcakes with me. Among the various instances of public crying and omg-I-hate-dating, one stands out. I...

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