How was your week, friends? I’m writing this from Granger, Indiana from this amazing, historic Airbnb. I’m speaking about money, happiness, and habits at Nicole’s Real Talk Retreat and it is lovely. If you have a conference, workshop, lunch-n-learn that needs a speaker, get in my inbox! I love IRL teaching.
Of course I loved this. Ten Things I Learned From Loving “Anne of Green Gables” Anne, however, has no Dumbledore or Aslan to initiate her into a larger understanding. Instead, Anne herself is the portal — the tornado, the wardrobe — who helps the characters around her understand that the “mundane” world, itself, was always already full of deep magic.
How do the 21 Democrat candidates for president differ? The NY Times asked them the same 18 questions; here are their answers.
I loved Alison’s post about health vs. aging and what’s possible.
I loooove stories like this. A Craigslist buyer complimented a woman’s home decor and it lead her to change her career! (And her home is gorgeous.)
How was your week, friends? On Wednesday, I got back from a week-long road trip with my mom, so I spent the rest of the week doing laundry, digging myself out of an email hole, you know. The usual post-trip stuff. This weekend we celebrated a friend’s birthday with a private hot yoga session for all our friends! Awesome + sweaty.
On my way through Des Moines, I stayed at one of the best-run Airbnbs I’ve ever been to. The guest house had extra razors, tampons, and phone chargers! Also: it was $70 and there was an amazing covered patio with cafe lights. On Instagram Stories, a bunch of people asked for a link to the listing, so I’m sharing it here, too. And if you’ve never used Airbnb before, here’s a $40 credit towards your first booking!
A hilarious response if anyone asks why you’re “still single.”
Somewhat related: I love the interview series Single Women And Their Spaces. This tour of Chelsea’s rented apartment in Portugal is great.
I thought this was lovely and important: How to navigate a special needs encounter with kids. The emotions that a child feels when seeing another child with special needs can range from curious, to nervous, to just plain confused. Let your child know that questions are okay. For example, if your child points at my daughter and says, “What happened to her arm?!” my suggestion would be to get down on your child’s level and explain that some people are born differently than other people. I then often refer to other differences, like hair color, skin color, glasses, etc.
I was on the HowShe Creates podcast this week talking about questioning, well, everything has lead me to a life that I really, really like. Listen here! And if you’ve got a podcast, I’d love to be on it! Drop me an email at email@example.com and let’s get something scheduled!
Speaking of podcasts – I’m still plugging away, setting mine up and Paula has been super helpful. And she just launched a course about how to start your own!
This just in: Dolly Parton sleeps in her makeup when she travels + brings her own snacks. I used to take my family on trips and vacations. We would go all over the world. We’d stop in and have food, but we’d take a lot of our own food. You’d take your own good pillows and your little things, which I still do to this day. Even when I travel overseas, I take my pillows, I take a few snack foods and other things that you might not be able to get.
What’d you get up to this week, friends? I’m halfway through a road trip with my mom, visiting some of the best small to mid-sized cities in the country <- pretty much my favorite thing to do EVER. You can follow along on Instagram Stories if you’d like to see the quirky museums, adorable downtowns, and little diners we’ve been stopping at.
Links for you!
One place we’re FOR SURE stopping on this road trip? St. Elmo’s Steakhouse. It checks so many boxes for me: vintage decor, locally-owned, featured in a plotline for Parks And Rec! (Yes, I’m still a vegetarian.)
It’s Pride month! Awesome! Rather than buying a Rainbow t-shirt from Amazon or Target, what if we supported shops owned by LGBTQ+ people? Here are t-shirts from 22 queer-owned shops.
I’m leading a group through a round of Bank Boost right now and several participants have brought in money by selling jewelry from previous relationships. Can you even STAND what a power move that is?! Imagine having more money in your bank account while also being rid of the ring that cheating so-and-so gave you? FWIW, a lot of them have had more success/a more enjoyable selling experience using online auction houses rather than Ebay or a pawn shop. Fellows UK is a great place to start (even if you’re in the U.S.!) and they’ve been family-run since 1876!
Oh my. The World Of Incel Plastic Surgery Friends and family said he had body-dysmorphic disorder, a condition the International OCD Foundation says affects about one in every 50 people. Psychiatric manuals describe it as an obsession with perceived flaws in one’s appearance that others don’t see or notice. But Truth4lie’s imperfections were perfectly noticeable to other forum users: weak jawline, feminine nose, small frame, thinning hair. To Truth4lie, their assessments explained why he hadn’t fit in in high school, why his ex didn’t love him, why women he looked at on the street didn’t make eye contact.
On my ‘to travel’ list for next year: hiking the coast-to-coast trail across northern England. You hike all day but get to sleep in lovely rural bed and breakfasts! A company will transport your big backpack for you so you can just hike with a little day pack! My friend Lindsay is doing this hike right now and her Instagram photos have further convinced me. (If you’ve done this hike and have tips to share, please share them in the comments!)
Whaaaaat? A ‘string garden‘? Didn’t know I needed this in my life!
Great reminders from Captain Awkward about the emotional and psychological minefields of wedding season. “Be in my wedding party?” is an invitation, not a command. So be respectful and up front about budget & time commitments. Let “So sorry, I can’t, but I’d love to celebrate as a guest!” be a good, happy, loving answer when it is the honest answer. Also, don’t expect people to read your mind if there’s something you want them to do, you might have a playbook in mind but it’s far from universal, so spell it out! Help people make a good decision, help people give you what you want and need.
How was your week, friends? Since it was the last week of the month, I did my monthly No Grocery Challenge to use up all odds and ends in the kitchen and reduce our grocery bill/food waste. This time, I partnered with Farm Flavorand used their farm to table recipes as a jumping off point (because I don’t know how to make a quinoa-based quiche crust without a little guidance.)
I love house tours that are something other than NYC/LA minimalist palatial homes. So I obviously loved this tour of a colorful Tennessee rental. They’ve done AMAZING things.
This is what a cow looks like after it’s been blow-dried!
Co-signed: Allow me to convince you to take a lunch break today. The survey also found that employees who take regular lunch breaks are more engaged in the workplace, so while a quarter of Americans associate taking lunch with working less hard, the opposite is true. This probably explains the side-eye I get from colleagues when I shut my laptop at noon: Even if they’d like to join me, breaking the social contract of abstaining from self-care during work hours is perceived as risky.
Next week I’m leaving on a one-week road trip with my mom (!!!) and one of our stops will be Bloomington, IN. It is SUCH a great city and I loved interviewing a local about how much it costs to live there.
Related: I loved this Instagram post from an artist about why she lives in Door County, Wisconsin (which is beautiful!) rather than NYC or LA.
How was your week, friends? Here in Minneapolis, it was weirdly rainy and cold, so I spent most of it doing indoor things and planning future trips. But this weekend has been gooooorgeous, so we’re making up for lost time with lots of bike rides, barbecues, and reading on the deck.
Links for you
Next week is the last week of the month, which means it’s time for my monthly No Grocery Challenge! If you’ve never watched my Instagram Stories, my NGC is a week where – in an effort to reduce food waste and save money + time – I cook only with what’s in the fridge, freezer, and pantry. It’s weirdly fun and gratifying! You can use this workbook to plan your own (it’s SO much more than just using leftovers!) or follow along here to watch me do it.
I was on Rolf Potts’ podcast this week, talking about traveling light, dressing modestly while traveling, and how to deal with travel anxiety. Listen here!
Have you read this yet? It’s a bit like David Sedaris, but younger and British.
A good point: Don’t Use My Family For Your True Crime Stories. Nobody has tried to make entertainment out of Sabina’s story, but if they did, I would burn their podcast studio to the ground. I would call them every night at 3 a.m, and then again at 5, and when they started turning their phone off I would show up and ring the doorbell. I would dig up their most embarrassing secrets and use them as blackmail. I would do whatever I had to do to get them to give up on the project. It would be intolerable to me—physically intolerable like the way a body can’t tolerate rotten oysters—for someone to splash Sabina’s last moments and the horror of her death onto a TV screen, or to narrate it between advertisements for Casper mattresses.
I’ve been catching up on this season of Queer Eye and if you, like me, where obsessed with the squash casserole recipe, here it is! This would be a such a good way to some of that end-of-summer zucchini we’ll all be drowning in.
I really liked this: “I’ve always been a time-based worker. You know, like, ‘did I sit here for 3 hours and try?’ I don’t have a word count when I sit down to write. It’s all about sitting down and trying to make something happen in that time period — and letting those hours stack up.”
Sometimes, when I’m hard on myself for not doing ‘more’ as stepmom, I remember that even as a pretty B+ stepmom I do more (and I’m held to a much higher standard) than many full time, bio dads: What ‘Good’ Dads Get Away With.
I talked about the link between money, happiness, habits, and education on the What I’m Unlearning podcast! Listen here.
DISCUSS: After men in Spain got paternity leave, they wanted fewer kids Farré and González think that spending more time with their children—or the prospect of having to do so—may have made men more acutely aware of the effort and costs associated with childrearing, and, as the researchers put it, “shifted their preferences from child quantity to quality.”
I loved this: Rob Walker’s Exercises for Noticing New Things Eat Somewhere Dubious. Have one meal at a restaurant that you didn’t find on Yelp or through any sort of recommendation and that doesn’t even look trendy or hip. First you’ll have fun keeping an eye out for it: “Is THAT our dubious restaurant?” Second, even if you have a mediocre meal, you’ll have an unpredictable experience! And this, by the way, is how the best food writers make discoveries and find the places that later get hot on Yelp. So maybe you’ll get lucky.