Web Time Wasters

How was your week? As you read this, I’m in New Mexico visiting a friend, soaking in mineral springs, and OBVIOUSLY going to Meow Wolf. You can follow along on Instagram if you’re curious! 

Links for you!

Because I know everyone will ask once they see it on Instagram, this is the amazing Airbnb we stayed at in Truth Or Consequences. It has its own private hot spring! (If you’ve never used Airbnb before, here’s $40 towards your first booking) 

This is my fifth trip to New Mexico, so 9 Wonderful, Off-The-Beaten-Path Things To Do In New Mexico


I’m the stepmother of 12 and 15 year old boys and I loved this: 21 Completely Subjective Rules for Raising Teenage Boys 

5. Prepare for cranky questions to emanate from the open fridge: “Is the ham all gone?” “Wasn’t there leftover steak?” Answer with your sunny good nature. “It is!” “You ate it!” Remind your son that he is welcome to restock the fridge.

6. Familiarize yourself with the expression “second dinner,” and buy lots of Trader Joe’s frozen entrees for hungry nighttime foragers.

How a Tribe Battled Loggers With a Drone They Built Watching YouTube

I am reading this book four years after everyone else and it is excellent!

What 10 years of trying looks like

I loved this roundup of DIY and handmade gifts

Co-signed. (Why are people so weird about height and dating?) 

Related – True Story: I’m 4 inches taller than my husband

Excellent, blunt advice
My wife and I have been paying off our student loans for years, but we still have about $75,000 to go. She’s 35 and really wants to start having a family, but I think we should wait a few more years, until we’ve paid off more of our loans. We argue about it constantly.— Anonymous

You don’t actually want children and you’re wasting her time and she will hate you forever.

Why you should travel alone as a woman

In August, Leah Nixon was in a serious accident while working construction for Habitat For Humanity. Her right leg had to be amputated and she’s paralyzed from the chest down. Now, her friends and family are raising money to cover her medical expenses with this amazing raffle for $20,000 worth of products!

Kenny’s Jewish so we usually spend Christmas Eve with his family at Shuang Cheng. If we wanted to branch out, I loved this round up of 25 Chinese recipes for a Jewish Christmas

Hope you had a great week!

Plant a seed for Future You + 9 ideas to get you started

Planting seeds for future you is one of the best self-development, self-care tips out there. Click through for tips on maintaining motivation and productivity!
“I just want you to know how much I appreciate you. I mean, none of this would be possible if it weren’t for you.”

I sniff noisily into my Kleenex.

“Like, NONE of this.”

This is not a conversation I have out loud. I do, however, have some version of this conversation in my mind with my 2008 self on a regular basis.

My 2008 self – that scrappy, newly-single, saddled with $50,000 of school debt self – had the gumption and forethought to plant the seeds for the life I have today.

My 2008 self paid $375 a month on her school loans, even when she was living on her own and her take-home pay was $2,000 a month.

My 2008 self spent every lunch hour leaving comments on other blogs, building friendships and professional relationships I still have today.

My 2008 self slathered on moisturizer with SPF every day, even though she thought she didn’t need it. Even when it was overcast and cold.

And my 2018 self is reaping the benefits. Thanks Former Self! You’re the best! I love you!

I not exactly a bastion of forethought. I’m actually the captain of the S.S. Instant Gratification. Left to my less-great inclinations, I head up team Why Don’t I See Results Yet Let’s Give Up.

But at the risk of really running this metaphor into the ground, that’s not how seeds or plants or plans work.

I’d never plant a marigold seed and return the next day expecting a flower. I wouldn’t dig up the seeds after two days and yell at them. I’d water them and give them the time, space, and sun they needed to grow.

We'd never plant a seed and expect a flower the next day. Plant seeds for Future You and then step back, have patience, and give them time to grow. Click To Tweet

In my course Bank Boost* we do something called an Earning Spree. For six weeks, we get out of our comfort zones together and do all sorts of things to bring in extra money. Some of the things we do bring immediate dollars. We sell old sports equipment on Craigslist. We start driving for Lyft.

But we also plant seeds for our future selves, for our future financial health. We send pitches. We run promotions. We finally post about our dog-sitting services on Facebook and Nextdoor. We ask for a raise or send out feelers for a new job.

And maybe the results are not quite as immediate as finally selling that Nordic-track, but they add up. They bloom into something wonderful.

9 ways to plant seeds for Future You

1. Set up an auto-transfer from your checking account to your savings. $15 a month. $75. Maybe your savings account is in another bank so you’re less likely to fuss with it. Slowly but surely, you’ll build a nest-egg without even thinking about it.

2. If there’s something that dramatically improves your life but you always forget to buy – vitamins, new toothbrush heads, non-hole-y underwear – sign up for a monthly subscription service that delivers those life-improving things to your doorstep.

Or just buy them in bulk.

3. Similarly, if there’s a service that dramatically improves your life and you go too long between appointments – therapy, massages, car detailing – schedule your next appointment as you finish your current one. If you really want to create accountability, pre-pay so you don’t skip out.

4. Create a habit of sending one ‘reach out’ message every day. A DM on social media telling someone you appreciate their work, an email to someone you met at a conference. Future You will have an amazing network of friends and professional peers.

5. When you know you’ve got a tough time coming up, sit down with your calendar and literally schedule breaks and fun into your month. In three weeks, you’ll be so glad you had the foresight to schedule that matinee with your sister or that quiet night at home.

6. Put granola bars (or another snack of your choice) in your bag, in your desk, and in your glove compartment. I swear to you, doing this saves me hundreds of dollars every year and prevents so many mid-afternoon-out-and-about Taco Bell runs.

7. Open your calendar for 2019 and block off one weekend each quarter. What are you going to do on those weekends? Who knows? But since you’ve saved the space, it’s less likely that you’ll reach the end of the year saying “I never took that trip!”

8. Got an idea? Buy the url.

9. Going on a trip or vacation? Put fresh sheets on the bed, make sure you’ve got some pizza in the freezer, and schedule an Instacart delivery for a few hours after you get home.

I want to hear from you! What seeds did Former You plant that you’re now harvesting? What seeds can you plant right now? Tell us in the comments to create public accountability!

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

My Weird ‘3 Year’ Rule + How I Used It To Jump-start Change

Looking for a trick to break bad habits? Want to build good habits but not sure where to start? Click through for habit building tips you've never heard before! #habits #badhabit #goodhabit #goalsetting
It’s 3 am on a Wednesday night in 2016 and I’m awake. Again. As per the usual.

I stare at the ceiling and try to do those breathing exercises you read about in Real Simple, but get bored and give up. I toss and turn and huff and puff and make lists in my mind of various things I need to do when I finally get out of bed.

Mend that sweater.
Send that thank-you note.
Figure out LinkedIn – do I even need it?

Eventually, I fall into a distracted, light sleep and wake up poorly rested and cranky. I drink coffee all day to counteract the exhaustion and the entire process repeats itself that night.

Wake at 3 am. Toss for an hour and a half. Fall back into a sub-par sleep. Wake up feeling awful.

For a long time – years! – I slept poorly. But it didn’t seem like a big deal. Everybody I knew seemed to be low-key exhausted. Everybody fell asleep in front of Netflix at 2 am. Everybody shared memes about coffee.

And then one day, I happened upon this article and this collection of sentences:

The cumulative long-term effects of sleep loss and sleep disorders have been associated with a wide range of deleterious health consequences including an increased risk of hypertension, diabetes, obesity, depression, heart attack, and stroke.

After decades of research, the case can be confidently made that sleep loss and sleep disorders have profound and widespread effects on human health.

Oh, what’s that? You mean my daily choices could slowly add up to a heart attack or stroke or depression? That thing I don’t think is a big deal will become a big deal if I do it every day for years?

Confronted with these rather terrifying findings, I pretty quickly changed my ways. I used the very same methods I teach in Habit School to give up caffeine completely. And I bought this. Now I sleep like a baby 90% of the time.

Carrie Bradshaw-like, this got me thinking: where would I be in three years if I kept the exact same habits I have today? What would my life look like if I did those things – those “not a big deal” things – every day for three years?

Imagine it.

Imagine eating dinner standing over the sink every night for three years.

Or 1,000 days of Instagram stalking our exes.

Or 1,000 days of making excuses about why we haven’t finished that project we were so excited about.

We humans love to overestimate the positive effects of our (very) occasional good choices. We work out for two days and expect to have a six pack. We use one coupon and think we’ve topped off our Roth IRAs. We take a three-day break from social media and think we’re ready to join a Buddhist monastery. <- hello, I’m talking about myself.

Meanwhile, we convince ourselves that we’re doing these non-great things “just for today” or “just because it’s the busy season” or “because it’s the holidays.” It’s been scientifically proven that we chronically underestimate our own alcohol use, spending, and social media use.

This sounds awful and terrifying, doesn’t it? Like a ghost from Christmas future, pointing its bony finger at a calendar and hissing “This. This is the date you started “just swinging into Target after work” and now you’ve done it every day for three years. You are drowning in throw pillows and credit card debt.”
Think of your less-than-great habits. Imagine you did them every day for three years. What would your life look like? If you don’t like the way it would look, maybe it’s time to make a change. <3 Click To TweetBut I’m not sharing my weird three-year rule to scare you! When I saw that sleep study and was forced to confront the impact of my sleep habits, I was finally motivated to make real changes. Under eye bags and a coffee addiction weren’t enough. Realizing the long term impact of my daily habits was.

Picture November 28th, 2022. Are you the person you want to be?

I want to hear from you! How do you get yourself to take action on change? What’s motivated you to finally break your worst habits?

P.S. the LIVE version of Make It Stick Habit School opens for enrollment on January 6th! Click here to get on the wait list.

Photo by Renáta-Adrienn on Unsplash

Web Time Wasters

How was your Thanksgiving, American friends? We hosted my in-laws and on Black Friday I popped down to Red Wing to hang with my parents and sister for the ‘holiday stroll.’ If you live in Minneapolis and you’ve never been to Red Wing, I SO recommend it as a day trip destination – it’s nigh on Stars Hollow-y!

Links for you!